野葡萄や慈母にはなれぬ髪を梳く 浅野月世
nobudô
ya jibo ni wa narenu kami o suku Asano, Tsukiyo
season word: nobudô / wild grapes
wild grapes ——
to be a tender mother is impossible
running a comb hair through my hair
Comment by Hasegawa Kai:
「慈母にはなれぬ」ここに真実がある。
There is truth in the words “To be a tender mother is impossible”.
つぎはぎの朝顔棚となりにけり 横山幸子
tsugihagi no asagaodana to narinikeri Yukiko, Yokoyama
season word: asagaodana / trellis with morning
glories
the trellis
patched and darned together
with morning glories
Comment by Hasegawa Kai:
花の色が異なるのだろう。パッチワークのような。
The colors of the morning glories are probably varied. It seems like a
patchwork quilt.
身中のオロチ鎮めむ濁り酒 田中紫春
shinchû no orochi shizumemu nigorizake Tanaka, Shishun
season word: nigorizake / unrefined sake
unrefined sake ——
calming the serpent down
within myself
Comment by Hasegawa Kai:
この迫力。「オロチ」は「大蛇」がよい。
Such power! As for “orochi”, instead
of writing it in katakana, using the kanji 大蛇
is better.
晩学の我も照らせり望の月 木下誠
bangaku
no ware mo teraseri mochi no tsuki Kinoshita, Makoto
season
word: mochi no tsuki / full moon
the full moon
shines on me too,
who learns late in life
Comment by Hasegawa Kai:
この慎ましさは捨てがたい。
This humble attitude has some value.
魂ねむる海忘れめや今日の月 三木紀幸
tama
nemuru umi wasureme ya kyô no tsuki Miki, Kikô
season
word: tsuki / moon
never forget
the sea where souls lie resting —-
todays moon
Comment by Hasegawa Kai:
戦争の海であり津波の海でもある。
The sea reminds us of the war, and the tsunami….
犬がまた庭に穴掘る残暑かな 三木桂子
inu
ga mata niwa ni ana horu zansho kana Miki, Keiko
season
word: zansho / lingering heat
lingering heat ——
the dog once again digs
a hole in the yard
Comment by Hasegawa Kai:
残暑の感じがよくでている。
It shows well the feeling of lingering heat.
Comment by Hasegawa Kai:
俳句は通じることがまず大事。俳句のよしあし以前の問題です。そのためには自分で作った句を投句するまえに他人の目で確かめる必要があります。
今回もそれをしていない句、つまり何のことか不明の句がいくつもありました。他人の目になれないということは自分のことで頭がいっぱいということです。
According to Hasegawa sensei, “When it
comes to composing haiku, it is essential to make yourself understood. This
comes before talking about whether a haiku is good or bad. In order to make
your haiku understood, you have to judge it from another person’s viewpoint. This time there were many haiku which were
difficult to understand because this was not done. If you cannot have another person’s viewpoint,
it means that your head is full of your own affairs.
